hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
