Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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