And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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