She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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