so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
