At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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