i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
