He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
