I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
