I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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