Your face is a jimmy john
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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