Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it glows. i had to have it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
