8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
What a dumb baby whore.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Randomize
