She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
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he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
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I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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