I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
