i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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