She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
