what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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