and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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