Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
smell my finger.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
