he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
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While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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