I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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