Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
They are going to name an STD after you.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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