real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
one two three fourrrrnication!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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