and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
