i don't like sucking hair
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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