38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
