i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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