That's when you crack a 10am beer
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
