Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
