i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize