My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think weed is turning my hair brown
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
