operation harelip BJ is a go
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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