i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize