What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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