anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize