i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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