We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
this just has baby written all over it
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
