We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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