Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
