WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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