Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
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Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I need to sanitize my soul.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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