Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
