ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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