Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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