We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
