Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He is an equal opportunity slut.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
