In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
