awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
