Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
