Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
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Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
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So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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