hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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