five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
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She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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