Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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