he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
