just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
third nipple confirmed
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
