We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
