hotel room ftw
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize