you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
