So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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