Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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