Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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