Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
